Usually, any story that begins with «A Group of British Scientists» ends up being a good joke. Not this time...
Looks like I'm in big trouble.
I was kidnapped, I'm in a cage, and all the syringes and tubes around me do not predict anything good.
I am in a GBS (Group of British Scientists) laboratory, where they intend to do some experiments on me.
How do I know that? I am a black cat and can read people’s minds.
But let me introduce you the members of the GBS cell:
Ivette, romanian, Computers Sciences graduate from Iasi University, and later specialized in mathematics and neuro sciences.
James, 100% british, in charge with IT stuff, passionate about basketball
Karl, german origin, naturalized in UK, specialist in biochemistry
Boris, British, phD in management, is good at ...aaaa... well, he is the Group's manager.
What are they researching about?
Officially, their project is:
which, when publicly presented, was greatly appreciated by British citizens (who are very fond of any kind of bets) and, as a result, received extremely generous funds from the Government.
In reality the Group has a special mission - to create a genetically modified virus that will make EU very soft and submissive in the BREXIT negotiations!
And why would they need a cat to create that virus?
Because they will create it by altering an existing one - toxoplasma - known for drastically alter the behavior of those infected. And cats are the perfect carrier for this virus.
Hello, I am TOXO and I travel with cats!
According to Scientific American magazine, toxoplasmosa makes mice to love their enemies - the cats.
The virus hacks mouse’s brain (like a digital virus) and totally modifies his behavioral pattern.
Normally, mice run wildly from cats.
But when infected with toxoplasma, the mouse starts to loves cats odors and he’s looking for cats company.
Scientists believe that the change takes place in that brain area responsible for sexual attraction. So, in fact, the mouse is sexually attracted to cats.
Finally, the mouse ends up in cat’s belly, and that’s exactly what the virus wanted in the first place. Because the virus can only reproduce in the intestines of a cat.
How did I arrived in UK?
Like all the romanians, at some point I went to western Europe, looking for a better living.
First I went to Italy semi-legally, where, for a while, I took care of some retired cats in Syracuse, Sicily.
Then a friend arranged for us to move to Germany, where I worked as a nightclub bodyguard.
After a while, another friend told me life in the UK is better.
I moved there and I’ve start working in real estate.
With my old friend Pierre (formely known as Petrica), we were selling and buying real estate, at "the right price".
We looked for houses on the market for sale, and when we found one, Pierre and his employees would move in that house
Every time a potential buyer will visit the house, Pierre and his employees will ostentatious show up...
The seller has two options - either to call me with my Rodent Exterminator Team...
...and for a very expensive fee I get rid of the mice (in truth I only have to ask Pierre)...
...or, after a lot of unsuccesfull visits from potential buyers, the seller has to drastically cut down the price, the house becomes a bargain and then some friends of mine will eventually buy it...
Afterwards Pierre and his fellows will leave the house and then we sell the house at a bigger price - the right price of the market.
That’s actually how I got in trouble - a scientist interested to sell a house saw me with Pierre and believed Pierre had toxoplasma (‘cause he was to nice to me).
He let me to “eat” Petrica (just a little play me and Petrica we usually perform for the unsuspicious clients)...
...and then he grabbed me and took me to his lab.
I am a cat with a lot of life experience and I know this time I don’t have a single chance to esccape. SuperCostello is my only hope.
I'm concentrating to send him a telepathic message: "Please come to my rescue, Costello."
(Note: when this story will end, a printed version will be available on Amazon)